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Shut me down till its over...

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WARNING: DEPRESSTION SHIT VENT ENGAGED

oh please..please don't make go though with this,i don't wanna be here for this,i don't wanna take the pain! please just shut me off... so i don't have to go thought this, just shut me off, and do what you must till its over... just shut me off till its all over...
uhhgg whats going on and whats wrong? many things, i wish not to explain in details but in a blur,
you see these pass few months have been horrible, misable, why? well a promising newfriend-ship has spoiled over the last few months into some thing worst then any nemesis i have ever had, and now excluded from a circle of friends because of him i am left in betrayal, negligence and misery, as a result, i pulled a selfish action that will destroy what ever hope was left of salvaging this group of friends and my once good friend, and doubtlessly..eviction, determined to get back at my friend i fear i have taken every one including myself out with this action,
nothing has happened yet, so now i await in sorrow for the end and pain and ever sweet sadness to flow and wash away this mess, but i wish not to feel it, be apart of the horror yet to come and what i have created, i know its my falut, but
i just want some one to shut me down, shut me down till its over, i just don't wanna be here....
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